Creativity Output Personal GDP

I think I'm going to start blogging again. Man, I hate the word 'blog.' But I think it's a good idea.

I've been blocked for a while, and I just can't stand it anymore. I can't stand that I'm not creating anything. I'm stymied in everything I try to express recently, and then I start to feel that I don't even have anything going on worthy of expression. Then I start to berate myself and make myself feel like a tool. I turn defeatist.

However, I recall that during the times when I kept a sort of log of my life, it acted as a lubricant to other forms of expression.

I really want to write again, but the idea of just spewing out a poem or song or story or script when I'm starting from zero is a daunting task. I need to get some flow or momentum going, I think. So I'm starting with this crappy entry, and hopefully will be warming up into more of the flowery, effusive prose that is my cup of tea. And hopefully that will lead to something that is actually good, and worthwhile, that is not a journal entry.

Even just writing this intro is tough going. My sentences seem stilted to me. But then again, I tried writing by hand the other day, and my handwriting was jagged and idiotic looking - I am out of practice. I know that if I wrote by hand more frequently, I would be able to read my own writing. But I don't care about my penmanship. I care about meaning, and when I'm not creating tangible results, I feel that my life has no meaning. Hopefully, blathering on and on periodically about my precious 'observations' will help oil up the rusty machinery of my productive, creative mind.

Here goes nothing!